The warm rays of the sun tickled my cheek and as I opened my eyes I gazed at the miracle in front of me. To call her an angel would be to insult the perfection she embodies. Her amber hair played with the light of the sun releasing a golden shimmer of magic into the bedroom. The cloud-like comforter hugged her body. Comparing this image of beauty to some celestial experience reminiscent of heaven cheapens the transcendental glory of the moment.
Should I awake this Aphrodite of my kingdom with a gentle kiss? Is the rough touch of my weathered hand allowed to graze her porcelain skin? I cannot blink nor break my sight of this magnificent dream. Am I sleeping? Am I awake? To face reality without this goddess by my side would surely be my most grave torture. A morning without her would be an eternity of mourning. The two words becoming synonymous forever.
The fear of this truth wakes me and I am greeted by my fear. Languishing in my lonely curse, the charitable twinkling of hope whispers in my mind. "Come find me!" Like a warrior overcome by battle, a soldier with his last breath, I arise one last time and again search for her. Will my heart find its cure? I know not. Nonetheless, the warmth of her body welcoming me from my slumber. Her gentle hand draped upon my chest in a subtle request for protection. Awaking to the fairies of Helios prancing upon her gentle cheek is my vision and my dream.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Two Dudes and a Lady - Episode One
Based on my recent experiences, I have thought of an idea for a television show.
Scene One
Setting: Upscale restaurant. Dave and Catherine sit side by side holding each others hands on one side of the booth and Charlie sits on the opposite side. Charlie is handsomely dressed.
Charlie: No...now hold on. Don't misunderstand what I am saying.
Catherine: Okay fine. Clarify then.
(Dave nods his head in disapproval)
Charlie: All I'm saying is, if a guy is going to work and put in the hours, and then with profits from such work take his girl on a nice evening out on the town, is it too much to expect a decent make out session at minimum?
(Catherine grins and Dave and Charlie high five)
Scene Two
Setting: Dave drives the with Catherine in the passenger seat and Charlie in the back seat.
Dave: Alright Charlie, in your expert opinion...is it ever okay to give a girl a butt massage?
Catherine: OH MY GOSH. I never asked for that!
Charlie: Are you dating or in a relationship?
Dave: What difference doesn't make?
Charlie: Specifics man, I mean if you are married then definitely. It's the only action you will be getting for a long time.
Catherine: You guys aren't even listening to me.
Dave: Alright...In a relationship.
Catherine: I never asked for that. We are fighting.
Charlie: So this request happened recently huh?
Catherine: You guys are ridiculous.
Charlie: What is she wearing?
Dave: Tight spandex.
(Dave has a menacing grin)
Catherine: It's like I'm not even here!
Charlie: No, we acknowledge your presence...you are motivating this question. Okay, well in my humble yet still expert opinion, it all depends on what she is wearing. There is no such thing as a true gift. It's all exchange. If she is going to ask for a booty massage then you better have some eye candy while you work. One rule though...no farting!
Scene One
Setting: Upscale restaurant. Dave and Catherine sit side by side holding each others hands on one side of the booth and Charlie sits on the opposite side. Charlie is handsomely dressed.
Charlie: No...now hold on. Don't misunderstand what I am saying.
Catherine: Okay fine. Clarify then.
(Dave nods his head in disapproval)
Charlie: All I'm saying is, if a guy is going to work and put in the hours, and then with profits from such work take his girl on a nice evening out on the town, is it too much to expect a decent make out session at minimum?
(Catherine grins and Dave and Charlie high five)
Scene Two
Setting: Dave drives the with Catherine in the passenger seat and Charlie in the back seat.
Dave: Alright Charlie, in your expert opinion...is it ever okay to give a girl a butt massage?
Catherine: OH MY GOSH. I never asked for that!
Charlie: Are you dating or in a relationship?
Dave: What difference doesn't make?
Charlie: Specifics man, I mean if you are married then definitely. It's the only action you will be getting for a long time.
Catherine: You guys aren't even listening to me.
Dave: Alright...In a relationship.
Catherine: I never asked for that. We are fighting.
Charlie: So this request happened recently huh?
Catherine: You guys are ridiculous.
Charlie: What is she wearing?
Dave: Tight spandex.
(Dave has a menacing grin)
Catherine: It's like I'm not even here!
Charlie: No, we acknowledge your presence...you are motivating this question. Okay, well in my humble yet still expert opinion, it all depends on what she is wearing. There is no such thing as a true gift. It's all exchange. If she is going to ask for a booty massage then you better have some eye candy while you work. One rule though...no farting!
Friday, September 14, 2012
Don't Hate the Playa, Understand the Game!
In high school the jocks got the girl. In college the frat boys triumphed the sorority queens. Now that I am a young professional, the ladies are after the young, chic, expensive car driving, well dressed, well groomed, work out hounds that fill the downtown city lounges.
What’s a boy to do you ask? Adapt to survive. Its time for a makeover baby.
That doesn’t mean you assimilate so much that you forget or lose your true identity, it just means you flaunt what “your momma gave you,” and make sure that its in tune with what your target audience is looking for.
As an SEO engineer with several small businesses on my roster, I realize that my boys are in the same bind I am in. We both want to stand out to our desired audience. In my case, I want the ladies, and in the case of my clients they want specific customers. The goal however is the same...we all want to stand out among the competition. We want to be desired by our target audience.
First Impressions
It is a melancholy truth that when a woman looks at me with those interested and penetrating eyes, its not my mind thats attracting her. She isn’t saying, “Wow what a sexy brain.” What she is doing is taking off my slim-cut tailored Polo Purple label suit with her eyes and checking out my photo shopped body (at least I hope thats what she thinks my body looks like haha).
If you are a small business owner, your businesses website is approached in much the same way. If your customer sees your website and it resembles more of a hostile, unshaven biker than a charming Will Smith in the movie Hitch, I can assure you that she won’t be glancing at you for long. Think of your home page on your website as your Armani suit. Each tab on your site is a well fashioned article of clothing that your customer can dissect, attracting her more and more.
If you are considering fixing up your website, DO IT. You don’t need to go crazy and pull out your zuit suit. Match your new attire to the message you’re sending to your audience, but just remember that whatever it is you are trying to convey the main point is that they should be with you and no one else.
Status = Power
Most of the time when I am trying to pick up girls, I suddenly get blocked by some wannabe hot shot impersonator. I chuckle as they get the look from that girl that explicitly says, “Turn around and walk away. In what life would I be seen with you?” That look usually follows the schemers attempt to drop names in a feeble attempt to impress without actually having any prestige.
What I have come to understand is that status is necessary, but there is no need to shout out your status. Let those around you brag your status. Let your status do the talking and not visa versa.
In the Internet Marketing sense this is achieved through SEO. Consider Google as the high roller in the casino. Mr. Rockefeller himself in internet form. Now if Google drops your name as a first option when girls are looking for that perfect guy, all you have to do is roll up. You will have more than enough clout to attract that pretty girl all the guys are trying to talk to. Instead of chasing her, she is coming to you.
Talk the Talk
You can have all the power in the world, but if you can’t conversate with your target, it was all for nought. Now in todays world, “hey” can be said in so many ways that its important you say it with correct meaning.
Here is where social media comes into play. Whether your customer is a 13-year-old girl, or a 75-year-old veteran, rest assured, they are probably using some form of social networking. There is no need to be nervous, just take it one step at a time. Realize, she is just a girl, and with all the amazingness you are bringing, she is probably pretty nervous too. Start off basic and go from there. A Facebook page is always a good start, and as you get better expand your vocabulary. Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Flickr are all just sophisticated ways of saying, “You want to go somewhere a little more private?”
What’s a boy to do you ask? Adapt to survive. Its time for a makeover baby.
That doesn’t mean you assimilate so much that you forget or lose your true identity, it just means you flaunt what “your momma gave you,” and make sure that its in tune with what your target audience is looking for.
As an SEO engineer with several small businesses on my roster, I realize that my boys are in the same bind I am in. We both want to stand out to our desired audience. In my case, I want the ladies, and in the case of my clients they want specific customers. The goal however is the same...we all want to stand out among the competition. We want to be desired by our target audience.
First Impressions
It is a melancholy truth that when a woman looks at me with those interested and penetrating eyes, its not my mind thats attracting her. She isn’t saying, “Wow what a sexy brain.” What she is doing is taking off my slim-cut tailored Polo Purple label suit with her eyes and checking out my photo shopped body (at least I hope thats what she thinks my body looks like haha).
If you are a small business owner, your businesses website is approached in much the same way. If your customer sees your website and it resembles more of a hostile, unshaven biker than a charming Will Smith in the movie Hitch, I can assure you that she won’t be glancing at you for long. Think of your home page on your website as your Armani suit. Each tab on your site is a well fashioned article of clothing that your customer can dissect, attracting her more and more.
If you are considering fixing up your website, DO IT. You don’t need to go crazy and pull out your zuit suit. Match your new attire to the message you’re sending to your audience, but just remember that whatever it is you are trying to convey the main point is that they should be with you and no one else.
Status = Power
Most of the time when I am trying to pick up girls, I suddenly get blocked by some wannabe hot shot impersonator. I chuckle as they get the look from that girl that explicitly says, “Turn around and walk away. In what life would I be seen with you?” That look usually follows the schemers attempt to drop names in a feeble attempt to impress without actually having any prestige.
What I have come to understand is that status is necessary, but there is no need to shout out your status. Let those around you brag your status. Let your status do the talking and not visa versa.
In the Internet Marketing sense this is achieved through SEO. Consider Google as the high roller in the casino. Mr. Rockefeller himself in internet form. Now if Google drops your name as a first option when girls are looking for that perfect guy, all you have to do is roll up. You will have more than enough clout to attract that pretty girl all the guys are trying to talk to. Instead of chasing her, she is coming to you.
Talk the Talk
You can have all the power in the world, but if you can’t conversate with your target, it was all for nought. Now in todays world, “hey” can be said in so many ways that its important you say it with correct meaning.
Here is where social media comes into play. Whether your customer is a 13-year-old girl, or a 75-year-old veteran, rest assured, they are probably using some form of social networking. There is no need to be nervous, just take it one step at a time. Realize, she is just a girl, and with all the amazingness you are bringing, she is probably pretty nervous too. Start off basic and go from there. A Facebook page is always a good start, and as you get better expand your vocabulary. Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Flickr are all just sophisticated ways of saying, “You want to go somewhere a little more private?”
Friday, August 17, 2012
"When a Man Loves a Woman..."
1. He will find her cute even when she toots
2. He smiles lovingly as she uses him to warm her cold feet and never complains when she steals the sheets
3. He loves it when she is all dolled up and craves her without any make-up
4. He always tries to please her, even though he finds her sexy when she's in a crazy stir
5. He comprehends that he could live alone, but when he is with her, he's finally home
The privilege of loving a woman is sacred. Women are more than special. they are divine. When a man loves a woman he understands that his arms are unworthy of holding her. In gratitude he worships the Supreme Being for the privilege of having her in his life to adore and serve.
In a world that consistently becomes increasingly obsessed with the right to individualism, sacrifice through love is rare. This rarity must be acknowledged and viewed with it's deserving reverence.
This post goes to all the gents who love correctly and the dames that understand their worth.
2. He smiles lovingly as she uses him to warm her cold feet and never complains when she steals the sheets
3. He loves it when she is all dolled up and craves her without any make-up
4. He always tries to please her, even though he finds her sexy when she's in a crazy stir
5. He comprehends that he could live alone, but when he is with her, he's finally home
The privilege of loving a woman is sacred. Women are more than special. they are divine. When a man loves a woman he understands that his arms are unworthy of holding her. In gratitude he worships the Supreme Being for the privilege of having her in his life to adore and serve.
In a world that consistently becomes increasingly obsessed with the right to individualism, sacrifice through love is rare. This rarity must be acknowledged and viewed with it's deserving reverence.
This post goes to all the gents who love correctly and the dames that understand their worth.
Friday, June 15, 2012
How it All Began
I was serenely enjoying my long awaited breakfast in the break-room at work when two co-workers came in and started commenting on the food I was savoring. These somewhat mature in age and graciously sized lady co-workers began to describe the tempting invites that ran rapidly through their minds at the site of bacon, hash browns, eggs, and biscuits with gravy. Of course I had to chime in by saying, "Ladies, you could eat whatever you wish. I don't think any food, no matter how greasy or fattening it is, could harm your already angelic physique." They chuckled and sighed noting how cute I was, then one said, "Carlos you are an artist; an artist of bull sh*t, but and artist nonetheless."
I always knew that I was full of crap; but there is nothing wrong with trying to be charming, right? All the greats, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Carey Grant, George Clooney, Will Smith, started out as men that were full of crap (to put it bluntly) and transitioned into artists, eventually becoming talents in the realm of truly charming people. So ladies, thank you. You have created a life changing moment. Due to your compliment, I have ended my "full of crap" chapter and commenced the "Artist" section of my life with class and enthusiasm.
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